found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
