Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
