You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
