I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
