ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Floor bacon is actually really good
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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