Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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