Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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