he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
