I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
