my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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