Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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