so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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