I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
