Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's blow job season.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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