You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
