I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
