So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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