wat bout pragnant strippers??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
