so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
