you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
