i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
