do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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