there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
