When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
