She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
