when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
