so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
