Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
