I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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