I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
40s are totally the cure
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
