I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
