His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
