I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
