Kiss
Puke
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
