when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
another moral hangover. fuck.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
