the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Alive.
So much puke
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
