I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
