Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
