I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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