its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
did i just pee glitter
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
