what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
