Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
