420 ftw
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
