What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
