im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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