i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
