In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
