is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
