This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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