R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
