I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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